The Unfathomed

Come with a head full of chaos and heart overflowing or empty, let this space be your safe haven

Your choices and perspectives determine the quality of your life

We are our choices. We run our lives. 

We do what we do, feel what we feel, because we must. There’s no escape. 

But what we choose to focus on and how we divide our attention is in our control.

So believe me when I say we run our lives because it isn’t entirely dependent on external factors. 

Our thoughts, emotions and reactions are subconsciously dictated by us and no one else. Our reactions are in our control. The way we perceive things and react dictates how we spend our life.

We are all alike. We all go through periods of struggle. I struggle too, but with a different purpose. If you ask me how that happened, I’d say I chose it; chose to alter the thoughts I was forced to believe and began to manifest the learnings my experiences taught me. I acknowledge that after a phase of destruction, one can never come out as ordinary.

We become our choices. 

While you chase the idea of transformation, and you try hard to let things go, you are missing out on the beauty of letting things just be. You can live in extremes and see the world in black and white, in yes or no, with all or nothing, but you will always feel stuck. You will miss out on the in-betweens. And often, little moments of revelations you ignore hold the key to real happiness. 

Forcing or trying to live in extremes robs you of the pleasure of simply being still. Turn to your subconscious and you’ll be surprised to know how trivial every worry is. Do not try to rebuttal with it, just conjure up the courage to acknowledge the truth that’s being served. It will set you free. 

Let’s not shy away from the phase of acceptance, let’s not be afraid of the silence of stillness, let’s not hurry into the vision. The journey to anything can be amusing if you let it. 

Live some moments in stillness. Life is a charmer, give it a chance and you will realise that you can’t escape it’s spell. It holds you captive yet knows exactly when to release you. Only if you trust in it. Only if you are open to finding joy in little things. 

And when it does, you look at it like never before and the view is breathtaking. 

Trust me on this.

— an excerpt from 2018 journal // The Unfathomed

There’s a kind of love that destroys & you are here to love without destroying yourself.

There’s a kind of love that soothes but also destroys. The kind where you love a human without entirely knowing them. The kind where you are so ready to love that you forget everything. The kind where you are in love with the idea of a person; with the idea of who you are in the present and who you can be if they become a permanent part of your future. You are in love with all the possibilities. You see one extraordinary part of them and decide to never treat them as ordinary. You throw light on their beautiful parts and amplify even the minutest of goodness in their nature. While you continue to do this, you also come across parts of them that aren’t really beautiful. But you stay quiet. You ignore their flaws, and hide away their dark parts. There’s so much love in you that you ignore even the foulest of flaws in them. Loving them becomes a duty now. A responsibility you impose on yourself. Before you could even pause, question and understand, you start to feel like you’ve come too far. It becomes a battle now, not a love story. A battle where you fight against almost everything that forces you to see the truth. Their mistakes start to become your mistakes. You don’t question them, you question your own love for them. While you fight this war that you bought upon yourself, you try real hard and wait for the goodness in them to win. You wait for that person to emerge as a symbol of perfection and prove themselves to be the person you thought they were; you wait for them to become the love of your life. Time goes by and your hearts grow tired; of bearing the weight of the truth you refuse to see and accept. It grows tired of giving and trying with no scope of getting what it deserves or getting anything at all. And then comes the phase of destruction. It starts off with one scream, one outburst, and one good cry. When the truth is set free, the reality starts to set in. The overused and bruised parts of your heart refuse to stay quiet. The crevices of your heart that stored all love you had to offer, the love you poured into everything you did and felt for that person, will show signs of parchment. It will make space for a lot of things; including respect and justice. Your heart will finally give in and find the courage to see that person for who they really are. The hunger for love—the love it never received—becomes a driving force for everything it does and feels. And that isn’t a pretty experience.

By The Unfathomed

Unmet needs and unheard plights of hearts destroy years and sometimes, a whole lifetime.

So before it is too late, let the truth in: unrequited love isn’t romantic. It isn’t a sign of strength.

Loving selflessly has its own consequences. Loving blindly is a crime where your own heart is the victim. And the truth is, there’s nothing romantic about destruction. Nothing at all. People say ‘love is blind’. No, it isn’t.

Love is all seeing and all knowing. It is respectful and caring.

Love isn’t about just giving. It isn’t about giving endlessly, depleting yourself and hoping you’ll receive atleast a portion of it in return someday. No. Losing yourself into somethings or someone you can’t fully trust or rely on isn’t romantic.

Placing your heart in unsteady hands isn’t romantic. I don’t care how wonderful and great you feel when you start to love someone without expecting anything in return, I want you to remember that it destroys you. It ruins you in ways you fail to understand.

You aren’t here to prove your greatness by loving someone madly. No. You are here to live and love in ways that doesn’t hurt. You are here to love in ways that heal and nurture. You are here to love life and live your story. You’re not here to find a soulmate, a lifetime companion or a forever in another human. No, you’re here to find yourself. You are here to love without destroying yourself.

With love,

The Unfathomed

Only follow advice and make changes that truly support your mental health

As healthy as some habits, and activities seem, and as effective and impressive as an advice or a suggestion sounds, not everything works for everybody. And that’s okay. 

It’s okay to admit that sometimes your mind doesn’t agree with the expert advice because it has his own reasons not to. It’s okay to admit that your body isn’t always ready to adapt to the big changes you’re trying to make in order to feel better. Because no matter how bright, structured and wonderful a path is, it isn’t the only path to recovery or fulfilment. 

I say this because we’re full of contradictions. 

We all are different.

Our needs are different. 

Trying to stay positive all the time doesn’t work for people who’re in pain, who are suffering; in fact, grieving, taking time to recover from the loss and practising acceptance does. 

Exercising to relieve stress doesn’t work for people who are too exhausted and mentally drained to even get out of their bed; for them, some good food, and good rest helps. 

Going out, traveling and being an extrovert to bounce back and start anew doesn’t help people who have trouble being vocal about their problems or have anxiety issues; instead, staying in and staying close to even just one person they fully trust does. 

The list goes on because as I said, we’re all different. We often forget that our minds are constantly evolving. Life is always happening and change is an integral part of it. With all life events affecting us in various forms, we go through phases; some repeated and some new. And during these phases, everyone feels and copes with changes differently. When exposed to a new situation and faced with a difficulty, we seek help. We seek answers and solutions. We reach out to people and other resources to find help. We seek relevancy. And then, when we find what we were looking for, we relate to each other’s problems. But even though we follow the good advice we receive from experts and people who’re in the same place as you, we never really get the outcome we expected and that disturbs us. It makes us question our abilities. We never really feel satisfied or see a change. Do you know why? Because we end up turning the whole process of healing or adapting into a complex thing. We set deadlines. We ignore the discomfort and chase the feeling we’re aiming to feel. We skip parts of our own story. We rush. We try too hard to fit into the glorious story of recovery and breakthrough. We push ourselves to feel the way we’re told we’d feel instead of feeling what we really feel.

We fail to remember that our journey is different. We heal at our own pace. The intensity, vastness and depth of our issues can’t be compared to someone else’s. 

None of it can be validated by someone’s advice or idea of progress. 

When we realise this, we understand that our coping mechanisms, our ways to deal with changes in our lives and challenges must also be different. They must be curated to our needs. 

There’s no harm in trying various things to see what helps you. But, forcing yourself to keep at it and ignoring your needs, your feelings, the root of the problem, and other things that are personal to you, is not okay. 

We can’t make healing complex. We can’t compare our pain to someone else’s or force ourselves to do things that fail to improve our situation or help us get better. We can’t compare and feel disheartened because some get through difficult times in one go, some go back and forth, fall and get up and take time to adapt and evolve. There’s no comparison here at all. Both are worthy of appreciation. Because irrespective of time consumed, they’re both strong signs of progress. 

I hope this helped.

Thank you for reading!

Lots of love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

Take Responsibility for Your Life | The Unfathomed

We don’t get our life together in one-go. We wake up every morning and try until the sun sets and the moon rises.

We cry and howl but more than that, we smile and hope.

Here’s my story—

Many people say I am too serious for my age. I say, I am mature and mindful; because my life demands that from me. I can never lead an average life with only little understanding of things that truly matter to me. So I dig deep into everything that sparks joy in me and offers me peace. 

The life I am living today, I did not have it the easy way.

Anyone who knows me knows that I had to earn it. I had to build it. 

I wasn’t served opportunities on a silver platter. No. I went hunting for them. 

I had to build things from the scratch.

I got to where I am today because I took responsibility for all of my decisions and actions. 

Even when I was broken to a point I couldn’t breathe, I did not blame someone else for pushing me into darkness, neither did I blame myself for the situation I was in. 

I took responsibility.

I did not believe in any of the negative self talk. I pretended to be deaf when those thoughts grew louder and louder. I let every painful feeling consume me until there was nothing left to hurt. Until there was nothing left to break. 

And all along, I knew it in my heart that I was going to rise. I had to. 

I stopped trying to control my thoughts and feelings. 

I stopped wishing to change everything that happened, I just began acting stubborn about building a better future. Although I couldn’t control any of my emotions and it was painful, I was quietly rooting for myself; whispering words of assurance. 

That’s real self-love, I realised. 

I learned that real self-love is taking responsibility for yourself when things don’t go your way, when people around you betray you, and break you down. 

Taking responsibility for my life was undoubtedly the best decision I ever made. It saved me from emotions that could otherwise lead to jealousy, insecurities, lack of self-worth, overthinking and anxiety, if left unaddressed. 

That one decision led me to a path of transformation and re-discovery. It saved me from the regular self-destructive path a lot of people take during depressing times.

From there, I made decisions that would get me through those moments and help me find the light. 

Instead of blaming, harming anyone or waiting for someone to see me, I took responsibility and transformed.

I helped myself.

I helped myself every single day and without realising, I became capable of helping others. 

I helped myself heal in every possible way because that’s the least I could do for my hurting heart and broken spirit. 

I began to be mindful of my thoughts and my situation. 

With that, I learned the most important thing. I learned not to exaggerate my pain. I did not try to romanticise what’s gone. For a while I did, but once I was aware of the thoughts it led me to, I paused. 

Nostalgia is a liar, we need to remember this. And some lies are beautiful, hauntingly beautiful. They are hard to resist. You can rejoice in them for a while but you must never wait for them to become a reality. You cannot give away these precious years of your life for something like that. That’s a losing battle many of us are fighting. 

Forgetting someone who meant the world to you isn’t easy. Defeating your demons isn’t easy. Making peace with your insecurities isn’t easy. But living a life where you just wait for someone to return, something to happen, someone to save you or fix you, isn’t easy either. A life like that isn’t worth living, please understand. With passing years you’ll realise this and begin to regret the time you spent in wait. I’m trying to save you from that. So please understand. 

Please, listen.

We all get hurt in the early years of our life. We start to believe that our story is the most painful story on earth. Maybe it is, but the story hasn’t ended yet. You are looking at a chapter of your life, not the entire book. One chapter of your life should not decide who you become. We can’t call our story a sad one and close the book. We can’t leave the rest of the pages empty because we are afraid. We can’t cling to those years. We can’t ruin the coming years of our life waiting to get answers from people who did us wrong. When things end, we never really get closure. We must learn to accept that. 

We cannot expect words of comfort from people who hurt us. If you consciously make an effort to get your life back on track or atleast try to live gently, you win.

You owe that to yourself. So listen to me. 

Take responsibility for your life and try. Please, try.

Love, 

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed All Rights Reserved

Purpose of Journaling

“I wanna try journaling 📓How and why do you do it?” a friend asked

So I replied—

I’ll tell you my usual way of journaling.

I journal when I have a lot going on in my head 💭

Journaling is my way of pausing repetitive thoughts (why? because repetitive thoughts tire me out) 🙇🏻‍♀️

Journaling is my way of trying to understand why I’ve been having those thoughts and what they really mean.

For instance, this past week, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about my blog. I’m constantly thinking about how I‘m failing to make enough time for my blog every day, how I haven’t been focusing on creating more content regularly, how I haven’t fixed those technical issues on site and more.

It’s difficult to keep up. I’ve been working from home; creating a lot of content for work, managing a team and multitasking all day. But my conscience doesn’t take all of that into consideration. And I know that. I’m in the middle of a task and these thoughts emerge. I don’t know how to react to them + I’m too busy with work, meetings and deadlines. So, instead of paying attention to them or even making an effort to work on my site, I simply ignore them.

This repeats.

Since I realise that it has been happening a lot lately, instead of ignoring those thoughts, I pause and promise myself that I’ll dedicate some time to acknowledge them once I’m done with my work related tasks.

That one simple gesture relieves me.

After winding up work on a Friday evening, I quickly make a mental note to journal about those thoughts the next morning.

So here’s how the Saturday morning goes —

I sit down and make a note of every recurring thought and try to make a plan. This is my attempt at understanding my priorities outside work and to actually make them a part of my routine (why? because they matter so much to me).

Since I’ve been doing this for a long time (almost 2 years), understanding my thoughts and prioritising things has become quick and easy. I journal for 20-30 mins in such situations.

Besides that, I’ll write down some ideas that I want to implement, some habits I want to work on, some skills I would like to acquire and set small goals that I’d have fun accomplishing throughout the week.

Journaling allows me to dream new dreams.

Slowly and steadily, it allows me to make them a reality.

By doing this, I set my mind free.

And on weekdays, I can now quickly go through those little notes I made and try to spend some time working on them after I get off work.

Because honestly, making time for what matters is a stress buster for me.

I’m restless when I don’t make time for what matters to me—my blog, the unfathomed ❤️

Journaling is basically trying to make sense of the mess inside your head.

If it is your first time, you can randomly write everything, all your thoughts, in your journal. Then take a fresh page and try to put them in order. That’ll help.

This was my journaling approach for being productive and avoiding stress during work time because that’s the phase I’m in right now.

You can journal for various reasons; to make sense of your emotions, to evaluate your work life, to understand yourself or a loved one, to unwind or even to just vent out and feel better.

The purpose of journaling could be anything.

Journaling is making time for yourself.

Journaling is having a conversation with yourself.

I hope this helped.

Do you journal? 💛

Do you wanna get started?

If yes, here are some journaling prompts for you —

1. What is going well in my life right now?

2. What area of my life needs a little more care and attention from me?

3. What fears do I have? What is holding me back? What feelings am I ignoring?

4. What are the things I need to forgive myself for?

5. What is it that I am scared to admit out loud?

6. Where does my dream life look like?

Happy journaling!

If you need more prompts, I’m here 💜

Love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved.

Befriend Yourself — Why you need to Become your Own Friend

When you find a friend, a companion and a trustworthy adviser in yourself, every other relationship begins to seem like a bonus.

The Unfathomed

I wish we were encouraged to love, befriend and understand ourselves the same way we are taught to love, befriend and understand other people. It’s a must-have life skill, I believe. 

But some things in life are left to us, and we have the capacity to learn these things through experiences and even help others understand the same. That’s exactly what I am going to do today. 

To lead a peaceful life, knowing yourself, accepting yourself and understanding yourself is crucial. 

Giving yourself ample care and time is not silly or selfish, in fact, it is necessary. Please understand this. 

The more you know yourself, the more meaningful your life seems. 

When you truly understand who you are, your existence becomes a blessing, not a question or a burden. 

I want you to know that you are not ordinary. You are not who you think you are when you’re feeling low and you are certainly not what you see in the mirror. 

I know this sounds crazy but there’s undiscovered potential in you and it is endless. 

You have no superpowers, I agree and I will not try to make you believe that you’re special or extraordinary. 

But please believe me when I say you’re not average. 

The world has and will continue to make you believe that you are (for its benefit) but I’m here to tell you that you are not. 

These are not just some encouraging words to make you feel better about yourself, no, I have an explanation for everything I just told you. 

Here it is — on days when you are away from your normal life and your everyday schedule isn’t a part of your day, you see a glimpse of a different life; of what is out of reach and what could be, that’s a sign from your undiscovered potential. 

When you are away from the hustle-bustle of city life and you are watching the sun, the sky, a rainbow or a mountain towering over you, you feel different and think differently. That’s the light inside you trying to find its way through your thoughts. 

I will not tell you that in those moments, the person that you are is the real you or that the person you are on your regular isn’t really you. No. But I want you to know that those are the moments you understand yourself better. Such moments matter. They are opportunities; a calling, not to do anything big or extraordinary but to simply explore yourself in order to live fully. Those are the moments you spend with yourself and instead of watching those moments pass by, try to be consumed by them to understand your deepest and truest desires. 

If the sight of the Sea makes you feel alive, if reading a book in a beautiful cafe makes you feel calmer, if dancing the night away in a club makes you feel confident and free, if drinking tea and spending time watching the sunset makes you feel rejuvenated, do it and do it often. Take notice of what sparks joy in you and do it often. That’s the first step to befriend yourself. 

Instead of spending your life waiting for people to understand you and accept you while you don’t even understand yourself, try to sit with yourself in silence, prioritize your needs and address your emotions. Doing that won’t make you crazy, it makes you responsible. 

Darling, you’ve spent so many years of your life waiting for someone to see you that you’ve forgotten to see yourself. 

The Unfathomed

I know we grew up believing that it’s our friends’ responsibility to understand us, it is our family’s responsibility to support us and it’s a lover’s responsibility to love us unconditionally, and our responsibility is to only try our best to be worthy of it all; to be selfless. 

And despite all our efforts, when things don’t go our way and our expectations aren’t met, which happens almost every single day in one form or the other and those feelings accumulate over time and damage us, we think it is our right to blame these people who failed us and curse our fate for the miseries bestowed upon us. 

Don’t you see how wrong we are in the way we live our lives? It’s heartbreaking to realize that. 

But the good thing is, we can always take a step back and try to look at our life and our little world from a broader perspective. 

So sit down and ask yourself — “Is it really so hard for me to live with myself that I constantly rely on other people for my happiness, worth and well-being? Am I really as unworthy as I often feel?” 

Trust me, you’ll have tears in your eyes when you genuinely ask yourself this. 

Because reality hits you hard and that’ll be the first time ever you really listen to yourself and learn the truth. 

That’ll be the first time ever you have a conversation with yourself.

Every moment of injustice will flash in front of your eyes and you will want to hug yourself. 

Because deep down you know that you’re a wonderful person who deserves every good thing in life but you never really paused and told yourself that. 

You were too busy seeking everything outside you. 

But when you know what you deserve and who you truly are, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. 

That’s real strength. 

You begin to understand yourself, handle your emotions, master your thoughts and appreciate yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it FOR you. 

And that’s so beautiful.

The journey of knowing yourself will be the most chaotic and also the most exhilarating experience of your life. Don’t miss out on it. Take that path and you will never be the same again. 

Just so you know, there is no fixed timeline for becoming your own friend. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are. How messed up, broken, numb or busy you are. 

You can begin today. 

I’m here if you need help to befriend yourself. 

Take care! 

Love, 

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

How Does One Fall Back in Love with Life

You wake up in the morning and pull out the curtains, not coddle up in the warm sheets that help you muffle your misery.

You make an effort to clean the mess inside your head. You nourish your body with enough water and nutrients. You get up and clean the mess lying around your room.

You put one foot in front of the other and go out for a walk. You notice the smell of the freshly cut grass in the park. You visit the stray dogs waiting for you outside your house.

Image Credits – Darshit Belani ( Instagram – __wild__13 )

You shall not spend your nights glaring at the phone screen, checking a bygone’s Instagram story, ruminating over the history, or wondering about the unnecessary.

Instead, you spend your sleepless nights watching the stars and wondering about the outer space. You spend those nights rediscovering yourself by spending time doing what you love.

You fall asleep and wake up with an intention to be gentle with yourself. 

You spend your day doing things you like and eat your meals on time.

You take hot showers and let the water lighten your mind.

You stand under the gushing water with your eyes closed and take your time.

You let those thoughts rush in and believe that no matter how harsh they are, you’ll be fine. You cry and wail if need be.

And when you step out, you treat your body with care. You hold yourself and whisper words of kindness. You tell yourself nothing but the truth. You take a few deep breaths, moisturize your skin and sit with your thoughts in silence.

You volunteer to listen to your mind and see where every thought leads you to. 

You make an attempt to be aware. To be conscious of the repetitive cycles. And then you try to be brave. You pretend to be stronger than your thoughts. And eventually, you gain control and overpower them.

You slowly learn to go to sleep with fewer thoughts in your mind. You don’t fall asleep listening to music that breaks you down, you listen to music that breaks you and builds you right back up.

Every day, you dedicate some time to grieve. And you dedicate a lot of time to rejoice in little things and smile.

You begin to fall asleep with one less destructive thought and one less painful memory every night because you’ve consciously made an attempt to make peace with it. 

Even after enduring the most painful night, you wake up and sit in the sunlight.

Yes, that’s what you do.

Even when you are numb, you sit there waiting to feel something. You refuse to accept the fluctuating emotions as your reality; the ebb and flow of emptiness and heaviness inside your chest throughout the day isn’t your reality.

You understand it and wait for it to pass.

You sit there like a stubborn child demanding for the good things you deserve in life.

You sit there waiting for life to spoil you with the goodies and you stand tall like a warrior waiting to claim what is yours.

Even in the darkest moments, you give the light of life a chance to reach you. You give little things a chance to breathe life in you. And you give yourself a chance to heal. 

You wake up every day and do it all over again.

That’s how you fall in love with life, all over again.

Yes, you fall in love with life by allowing it to happen to you once again. 

With love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

Real productivity – Seek Balance, Not Motivation. Set Realistic Standards.

We’re tuned to rely on external stimulants to do what we must do and be who we want to be.

This kind of an approach leaves us feeling agitated and stressed when we fail to feel motivated. If you are working out and sharing your fitness journey online, and you feel motivated from the large amount of likes and comments you get on your workout posts, it is a good sign and it is okay to feel good about it but it is not safe to rely on it to feel motivated. 

When an external stimulation becomes the only source of inspiration, it becomes an addiction. 

Here, I’m not talking about the extremes. I’m not talking about showbizz and its dark side that leads to disorders and drug addiction. No, what I am really trying to focus on is a common man’s everyday mindset. 

Before performing any action that brings value, our brains are wired to look for motivation. It has been like this for ages. 

Can we live with this kind of a mindset forever? Yes, it is possible. 

But is it really a good practice? Not really. 

If you ever felt like you need a way out of this concept of finding motivation to do things, this is for you.

The ‘feel motivated’ concept comes with the highs and lows. When you get used to seeking motivation in order to get some quality work done, you’re also preparing yourself to cut yourself some slack when you feel burned out. 

In most cases, the ‘motivation led to productivity’ phase is short-lived and the ‘it is time to rest’ phase lasts longer than expected. We don’t consider this as a problem because we believe that’s how things work and try to look at the brighter side. 

Although no human can be 100% productive and focused 365 days a year, we can be at least 75% productive every single day. 

Okay, so 75% seems like a big number. I understand. Let’s cut it to 50%. 

That is 8.5 hours per day (after excluding the standard 7 hours of sleep time). 

Now let’s say, you are dedicating 4 hours out of it to the tasks you perform at your job. You have 5 hours in your hand for other important things you wish to pursue. If 4 hours of productivity at work seems less, make it 5. But starting with 4 wouldn’t be that bad because we’re talking about 4 hours of solid work with no distractions here. 

Don’t you think you can really get some quality work done with less stress if 4 hours is the target?

This is a better approach than looking for ways to keep yourself motivated throughout the day to be productive for 8-9 hours at a stretch. Trust me, I’ve tried it. 

Plus, you’ll have the remaining hours for the work you wish to do in the other areas of your life. It is essential to understand that productivity doesn’t necessarily mean dedicating all your time to one major goal in one particular area of life. 

Productivity is the concept developed to fuel progress. And progress involves work in all areas of your life. Only this will lead to satisfaction considering the fact that no man has just one goal, just the way he has no one particular source of happiness in life.

We strive for betterment in various areas of our lives because there are several things that are important to us—like relationships, job, lifestyle, hobbies and our body.

Productivity also means making new connections, strengthening existing bonds, making healthy food choices, spending time pursuing your hobby, working for the side hustle, having more conversations and many other things.

If we dedicate 100% to just one part, we will miss out on other parts. 

Hence, it is okay to let the 75 or even 50 be your new 100 for a while. By setting realistic expectations for yourself, you perform better.

I know what all the CEOs and motivational speakers of the world say—

Give your 100%, go all in, be fully dedicated and work to your fullest potential. 

That’s great advice. It is possible too. But only on some days. 

Why? Because we’re beginners and we are humans. 

Some days the world gets in the way and we feel drained. 

Some days our responsibilities take over and we feel tired.  

Some days our feelings get in the way and we get lost. 

Failing to give your 100% and lacking focusing on such days shouldn’t make you feel guilty. It shouldn’t make you feel like you lack discipline. It shouldn’t make you question your way of living. This is the drawback of the ‘stay motivated all the time’ approach.

Find balance and progress will be made, all the time. 

Give yourself the required push and also give yourself the required break.

That’s the key to being truly productive.

Start small and work your way up. It is important to remember there is always room for improvement. You can always raise the bar and strive for more but none of the great things you do will matter if you do it feeling stressed. 

The journey to reaching a goal is just as important as the goal itself. 

Let it be a pleasant one. 

Thank you for reading!

— The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

Lack of Exposure and Abundance of Leisure

Unsettling times are slowly fading away.

These days, the city is quieter than usual & that is nothing to feel sad about because these days, the city is also cleaner and brighter than usual.

The silence. It was scary at first. It is comfortable now. 

It is helping people slow down, and finally understand each other and their own self. 

There are longer conversations in balconies. 

Louder laughs shared with a hot cuppa in the evening. 

Everyone is kinder than usual, so kind that they’re feeding the voiceless, praying & grieving for the homeless because the hands are tied and that’s all one can do right now. There’s also calmness in people’s eyes. 

They’re happy about the way nature is flourishing. 

The long ignored plight has somehow become a priority. Holding on to the hope & healing, we’re finally in sync with mother nature. We’re now similar. 

There’s less agitation and more acceptance now. 

There are more people watching sunsets and no people stuck in traffic. Running the race in this rapidly evolving world, those little things we dreamed of escaping to are now a part of our reality. 

Thursday, 5:03 pm – The distant view of the race course brings back so many memories from childhood.

It is barely visible now. When I was little, I believed it was an airport because its shape looked like a plane to me. When I was little, I also believed I could fly an airplane. Today, I don’t believe I can do everything but I know with certainty that I can do a lot of difficult things.

Friday, 7:42 am – The old neem tree in the neighbourhood is greener now. Back in those days, the girl I went to school with told me it was a place where ghosts reside. I believed that too. But today, I see many birds hovering over it, settling on it’s branches. I see colorful kites stuck on it. It doesn’t look scary. It looks lively and beautiful.

Friday, 5:22 pm – My new found love, dermot kennedy, starts to sing. Whilst his voice begins to consumes my mind & drowns all my thoughts at once, the clean air fills my lungs. And in this moment, I feel alive. I feel grateful for the air I breathe. I look around and suddenly, I wish I could still see the magnificent Charminar from my terrace, like I did when I was a kid.

But that’s okay. 

I see the intricately built metro lines now. 

Saturday, 4:47 pm – I hear prayers from the mosque. The temple is still in sight too. The gods are still there, just no devotees visiting them. Gods understand, I believe. I also believe that they never ask for anything but for you to be human.

Today, 7:30 am –

Sunday, 5:50pm – Living close to the station, I grew up with the sound of trains awakening me in the middle of the night & sometimes falling asleep to it because it was familiar. I don’t hear it these days. But the station is still in sight and the flag hoisted there is still standing tall. It is breathing better too, I feel and that makes me smile.

Today, I spent an hour on my terrace watching the sky but I witnessed something much more beautiful than the crimson skies. I watched a father play with his little girl. Her laugh echoed each time he took her in his arms. It was beautiful.

Today, I saw a teenage boy training his dog on the terrace. They share a beautiful bond, I could tell. 

They were happy. Genuinely happy. 

Let me tell you something.

We’re feeling stuck. We’re feeling caged. Maybe the fear is real. For a while, maybe we really do feel anxious. But that’s not the only thing we’re feeling now, are we?

Take a moment to look around, we’re unlearning and relearning.

We’re learning to seek happiness in little things and we’re doing a great job learning to be happy and at peace. We’re sent home to enjoy the summer break. We’re sent home to rest, readjust and rejuvenate.

So take a moment to look within yourself, there’s a pool of serenity. There’s a sense of contentment swirling in it. There’s  also potential. Undiscovered potential emerging from it. 

And if you trust the timing of life, you’ll realise that there’s a voice reaching out to you. Trying to tell you this halt, this havoc, this pause, the lack of exposure and abundance of leisure, all of it is a blessing. Trust it.

Stay safe, stay sane

Love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

Be Conscious of the Kind of Content you Consume on Social Media

What is your definition of leisure?

Are you happy with how you’re spending your time?

Take some time to decide how you’d like to spend your time and what kind of content you’d like to consume.

Do you want to read about what is trending or what you truly enjoy and find helpful?

Consume the kind of content that is good for your overall well-being.

Find it and give your screen time to just that.

Do not consume whatever is served. The algorithm is wired that way. People get paid to get you hooked to useless stuff.

Having a sense of awareness of what is happening around you and to you will help you stay calm and energized throughout the day. 

Spending time watching or reading stuff that contributes to your growth gives you a sense of accomplishment. And spending time doing things that fuel your passion will boost those happy hormones. 

By making such small changes, at the end of the day you will feel mentally relaxed, not agitated and restless.

You are exposed to a wide range of content and not everything has a positive impact on your mind. It is time we understand that in order to have a positive experience on social platforms, we need to take responsibility for what we expose ourselves to. 

It might seem stupid. You might think that the algorithm is designed that way and there’s nothing you can do about it. You might even convince yourself that it is not a big deal. But trust me, it is. 

You spend at least 4-5 hours of your day on social platforms. It is a BIG deal. And it is something to be mindful of. 

This doesn’t mean we blame the algorithm. We need to understand that we are shown what we watch often. 

Consciously make an effort to find content that brings you peace and offers you long term benefits. Try to keep yourself away from content that stresses you out, entertains you but also drains you out. 

I write this because at some point in your life you pause, look back and grieve a little about the lost time. As relieving and intoxicating as these sources of entertainment are, they aren’t so good for  your mental health (unless you choose to mould them to be).

So, what can you do to change this?

Here are some simple tricks I’ve learned over the years,

  1. Turn off notifications – You got the power, not your phone.
  2. Check the time before you log in to an app – Make this a habit. This will help you keep track of how much time you spend on social media.
  3. Unfollow/Mute – I cannot stress on this enough. I bet you have some connections that just won’t shut up about their lives. You can’t help but see them everywhere. While it is their choice to post, it is your choice to see. Unfollow if that kind of content is having a negative impact on you and just mute their profile if it doesn’t bother you that much but also isn’t something of your interest.
  4. Filter out content and clean up your feed – If you’ve mindlessly followed some popular accounts and your news feed looks like an expensive magazine with nothing but useless content on the inside, please pause and filter them out. Get rid of that clutter.
  5. Follow accounts that are related to your hobbies and interests – ah, the changing feed. It is a beautiful feeling. Imagine being exposed to stuff that you’re really into. The kind of art that makes you think. Those cute animal videos that make you smile. Those awe-inspiring clips of cosmos and mysteries of nature. Imagine, and react.

Let me know if you’d like to read more on this, I shall post an extended version of this post.

I hope this inspires you to make a change. I hope this helps you enhance your experience online. 

Stay safe!

Thank you for reading

Love and light,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

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