‘Walk away, let go, trust the process and you will watch yourself flourish.’
As cliché as it may sound, believe me when I say walking away will do your life good. Not just in the matters of hearts but everywhere; in every aspect of your life — everything that doesn’t serve you, needs to make an exit, it is that simple.
Live by this rule and you will watch yourself flourish — mentally, physically, spiritually.
All our lives, we are taught to be strong and never give up but there’ll be times when doing exactly that — letting go, breaking free — shows courage and strength of character. I don’t want you to turn into a bitter person and neither do I encourage you to become numb and emotionless. I only want you to value your emotions and stop letting them get in your way of happiness; because they hold the power to lead you to destruction — something you certainly don’t deserve.
It is a bitter pill to swallow but you have to do it for yourself. The only person you should hold responsible for the things going on in your life should be you and you alone. Blaming others for your struggles might seem tempting but what you often fail to understand is that in the blame game, you lose power. Giving someone else that kind of command over your life is worse than the struggle you go through in the process of acceptance and taking responsibility. The concept of acceptance is one of my favorites, I must say. Everybody believes that acceptance is the key to betterment, I agree.
However, in my experience, the first step to progress is the intention, not acceptance. Now, acceptance and intention might sound the same but these are two completely different emotions. When life hits you hard and you are sitting there wallowing in self-pity, complaining how unfair people are — you feel a mixture of emotions. You struggle with those set of emotions and after a lot of thinking, contemplating and spending enough time with the pain, you zero down to one emotion — whichever feels right and most logical. This is where intention comes in. What you intend to do with that feeling, that conclusion, the clarity you struggled so hard to find is what drags you out of the abyss and sets you apart. At that moment, you either feel an immense amount of pity for yourself or experience rage. Picking the right one, choosing to live your life intentionally and not letting one idea or experience destroy your perspective on life is the turning point.
Very often, I see people turn into something undesirable and call it an outcome of their harsh experiences in life. This is the negative acceptance I am most afraid of. Acceptance is liberating, I agree. However, jumping to a conclusion too quickly, accepting it to be true and spending your entire life carrying that burden is toxic. I call it a burden because it’ll probably make you live against your own truth.
For instance, if you have loved a person, a dream, a goal or anything for that matter, deeply, and things went awry, you will go through a rough patch until you find your closure and answers. You won’t always find these answers easily; they won’t be served to you on a shiny, decorated plate. No. You are thrown to the ground, forced to dig up, pushed to get your hands bloody and dirty. But, sometimes, you are left helpless and as time goes by, the answers come looking for you, all by themselves; in times like these, you are simply required to be still. Despite seeming like two different scenarios, the amount of strength one requires to endure these situations is the same. We go through a lot during these times which makes us impatient and desperate to be the best version of ourselves. We can’t wait to get our closure, clarity, answers or whatever you choose to call them, we just can’t wait for it to find us and fall in our arms, destroy us for one last time just so we can finally begin to rebuild. It is a transformational phase which is why I believe one should not let it all go to waste by making a wrong decision and end up losing your authenticity. The idea is to use it to your advantage; let it change your perspective on things in a positive way. Let it instill wisdom in you and make you a better, kinder, wiser person. After this long struggle, whatever comes out should change you for better and not make you bitter.
What you intend to do with the answers will either make you or break you. So whatever you choose to do, make sure it doesn’t mess with your core values and your identity. Harsh transformation might seem like a great choice at the moment but make sure you don’t spend the rest of your life living against your own truth. Holding onto the new idea and forcing it upon yourself in the name of ‘change’ or ‘growth’ will do you more harm than good.
“Once you are out of the dark abyss, dust the misery off.
Be a badass, but also be kind.”
Which part of this post did you like, agree with or resonate with the most? I’d love to know.
Thank you for reading,
Love and light,