The Unfathomed

Gentle Reminders | Healing | Art and Purpose | Mindful Living | Self-Care and Growth

Tag: beyourfriend

Befriend Yourself — Why you need to Become your Own Friend

When you find a friend, a companion and a trustworthy adviser in yourself, every other relationship begins to seem like a bonus.

The Unfathomed

I wish we were encouraged to love, befriend and understand ourselves the same way we are taught to love, befriend and understand other people. It’s a must-have life skill, I believe. 

But some things in life are left to us, and we have the capacity to learn these things through experiences and even help others understand the same. That’s exactly what I am going to do today. 

To lead a peaceful life, knowing yourself, accepting yourself and understanding yourself is crucial. 

Giving yourself ample care and time is not silly or selfish, in fact, it is necessary. Please understand this. 

The more you know yourself, the more meaningful your life seems. 

When you truly understand who you are, your existence becomes a blessing, not a question or a burden. 

I want you to know that you are not ordinary. You are not who you think you are when you’re feeling low and you are certainly not what you see in the mirror. 

I know this sounds crazy but there’s undiscovered potential in you and it is endless. 

You have no superpowers, I agree and I will not try to make you believe that you’re special or extraordinary. 

But please believe me when I say you’re not average. 

The world has and will continue to make you believe that you are (for its benefit) but I’m here to tell you that you are not. 

These are not just some encouraging words to make you feel better about yourself, no, I have an explanation for everything I just told you. 

Here it is — on days when you are away from your normal life and your everyday schedule isn’t a part of your day, you see a glimpse of a different life; of what is out of reach and what could be, that’s a sign from your undiscovered potential. 

When you are away from the hustle-bustle of city life and you are watching the sun, the sky, a rainbow or a mountain towering over you, you feel different and think differently. That’s the light inside you trying to find its way through your thoughts. 

I will not tell you that in those moments, the person that you are is the real you or that the person you are on your regular isn’t really you. No. But I want you to know that those are the moments you understand yourself better. Such moments matter. They are opportunities; a calling, not to do anything big or extraordinary but to simply explore yourself in order to live fully. Those are the moments you spend with yourself and instead of watching those moments pass by, try to be consumed by them to understand your deepest and truest desires. 

If the sight of the Sea makes you feel alive, if reading a book in a beautiful cafe makes you feel calmer, if dancing the night away in a club makes you feel confident and free, if drinking tea and spending time watching the sunset makes you feel rejuvenated, do it and do it often. Take notice of what sparks joy in you and do it often. That’s the first step to befriend yourself. 

Instead of spending your life waiting for people to understand you and accept you while you don’t even understand yourself, try to sit with yourself in silence, prioritize your needs and address your emotions. Doing that won’t make you crazy, it makes you responsible. 

Darling, you’ve spent so many years of your life waiting for someone to see you that you’ve forgotten to see yourself. 

The Unfathomed

I know we grew up believing that it’s our friends’ responsibility to understand us, it is our family’s responsibility to support us and it’s a lover’s responsibility to love us unconditionally, and our responsibility is to only try our best to be worthy of it all; to be selfless. 

And despite all our efforts, when things don’t go our way and our expectations aren’t met, which happens almost every single day in one form or the other and those feelings accumulate over time and damage us, we think it is our right to blame these people who failed us and curse our fate for the miseries bestowed upon us. 

Don’t you see how wrong we are in the way we live our lives? It’s heartbreaking to realize that. 

But the good thing is, we can always take a step back and try to look at our life and our little world from a broader perspective. 

So sit down and ask yourself — “Is it really so hard for me to live with myself that I constantly rely on other people for my happiness, worth and well-being? Am I really as unworthy as I often feel?” 

Trust me, you’ll have tears in your eyes when you genuinely ask yourself this. 

Because reality hits you hard and that’ll be the first time ever you really listen to yourself and learn the truth. 

That’ll be the first time ever you have a conversation with yourself.

Every moment of injustice will flash in front of your eyes and you will want to hug yourself. 

Because deep down you know that you’re a wonderful person who deserves every good thing in life but you never really paused and told yourself that. 

You were too busy seeking everything outside you. 

But when you know what you deserve and who you truly are, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. 

That’s real strength. 

You begin to understand yourself, handle your emotions, master your thoughts and appreciate yourself instead of waiting for someone else to do it FOR you. 

And that’s so beautiful.

The journey of knowing yourself will be the most chaotic and also the most exhilarating experience of your life. Don’t miss out on it. Take that path and you will never be the same again. 

Just so you know, there is no fixed timeline for becoming your own friend. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are. How messed up, broken, numb or busy you are. 

You can begin today. 

I’m here if you need help to befriend yourself. 

Take care! 

Love, 

The Unfathomed

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