The Unfathomed

Gentle Reminders | Healing | Art and Purpose | Mindful Living | Self-Care and Growth

Tag: break

Enough isn’t a standard that needs to be achieved or chased. Enough is acceptance.

“I’m enough,” you tell yourself first thing in the morning because someone on youtube has told you to practice self-love with affirmations

You say it and get out of your bed feeling ready for the day

You end the day feeling clueless and yet again, you go to sleep feeling ‘not enough’

What is wrong, why is there no change and why do my efforts seem to go in vain, you ask yourself. Like every other night, you chose to shove it all aside and sleep or spend hours thinking about everything. You have convinced yourself that those are the only two ways to deal with it and do nothing but push yourself to find some energy to face tomorrow.  

But maybe, just telling yourself you are enough every morning isn’t enough. Maybe you need to actually believe it and maybe that’ll take you longer than those few minutes of affirming in the morning. Maybe because you say and don’t really believe it, throughout the day your mind and body are forced to look for validation everywhere you go and in everything you do. It’s a cycle that you are oblivious to. You look for it in the eyes of a stranger passing by and even a slightly different look from anyone makes you want to check yourself in the mirror. You look for it in the emails flooding your inbox and hope to find some words of appreciation from your higher officials.

You try to find it in the rising digits of your bank account, in the fancy collection flooding your closet, in the flashy pictures clicked in nightclubs and in likes and comments from strangers. You search for it in the words falling out your beloved’s mouth and more so dig for it in his/her actions every day. You fail to see it all and end your day believing it isn’t there. It’s time you understand that enough doesn’t mean perfect. Enough isn’t a standard that needs to be achieved or chased. Enough is acceptance. Enough is the thing only you can give to yourself; it needs your attention and support. A rare feeling that can be found only in you.

No person, accomplishment, place or thing can make you feel enough. Nothing can convince you to let the burden off your shoulders; the burden of expectations piled up whilst looking for validation in all the wrong places. You have to do it for yourself and it’s not a hard thing. It’s not a responsibility but a need; something as natural as feeding yourself with your own hands every day. Saying and believing you are enough is a very personal thing; don’t see it as a task that needs a reminder or a routine, it is something beautifully divine and very personal to you as a person.

Shift your idea of ‘enough means perfection and validation’ to ‘enough means acceptance and celebration of my rawness’ and I promise you won’t go to sleep feeling ‘not enough’.

Please don’t just read this and forget, the purpose of this post will be met only when you practice it. Let’s take it one step at a time. Start off by saving a part of this post in your notepad, the part that you liked the most and maybe take some time to act on it. Also, I’d love to know how it helped you.

Thank you for reading.

Love and light,

Nandini

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A letter to the city that breathed new life in me—Bangalore

I knew I was leaving a whole life behind

Stepping into a new world; a world of unknown.

I left Hyderabad on 7th of April 2018.

I vividly remember everything I went through that night. I remember even the minutest of details of that journey like it was just yesterday.

Completely unsure of how things are going to unfold or the idea of where life is taking me, I sat there ‘still and numb’. I was scared to death but there was no going back. At that moment, fear, confusion, disappointment, hope, expectations, strength, denial, every feeling that one can possibly feel played out through me.

As time went by, my life only seemed to go downhill and filled me with the grief of everything I left behind. I started to believe the voices in my head that screamed ‘You made a wrong decision.’

But over time, the truth overpowered those voices. The part I had mistaken for a void that needed a lover to be filled was in reality, just a layer of hurt. And with passing time, I was able to scrape it off and discover that what lies beneath is nothing but a treasure trove of love I had stored for myself and my loved ones.

I remember how this city presented me with an opportunity to get to know myself on a deeper level. I understood and accepted my shortcomings so that I could start working on them. It helped me fall in love with myself all over again and has given me every opportunity to discover my true potential. It has given me time and space to rest, heal, rediscover and rebuild my life with a broader perspective. This is the place where I learned some of the best and most invaluable life lessons. From learning to accept the fact that nothing is permanent to striving to make every moment count, I have come a long way. It did nothing revolutionary but subtly helped me shed parts that no longer served my purpose. Always reminded me of the reasons why I started this journey in the first place.

Here, I was introduced to the most beautiful and powerful parts of myself. I was directed towards a passionate and fulfilling life. There were moments so sublime I had to almost pinch myself to believe they were real — “I have had my heart broken before and it will most probably happen again. But, from this time forward, nobody will have any kind of power or negative impact on me and my well-being” I said to myself watching the sunrise beautifully over the lake. It was a moment worth remembering.

Today, I no longer shed tears over those who caused me pain. I wish them well, pray for their happiness and keep moving forward in life. I have learned the value of forgiveness and freedom in this city. It gave me power and I was unstoppable when it came to things I set my heart and mind on. I have conquered things that I had only dreamed of. Things that were ‘real’ only in my dreams are now a part of my reality and I can’t be thankful enough for it.

This city has offered me growth, faith, transformation, and the truth. It was never harsh on me or made me feel like an outsider. In fact, I have always felt like home here. It will always be a home for the dreamers and the hustlers, I believe. I will forever be grateful for all that I found here, for people, places and things that have fuelled my passion and gave my little heart such immense courage to keep going. Most of all, I’m thankful for the way it helped me look at my own city (Hyderabad) in a different light. It helped me fall in love with the place I grew up in, all over again.

I want to share a part of what I’ve learned here with you, so here it is — there’s nothing more important than the memories you are about to create. This moment is the only proof that you are alive. Once you learn to live in the present moment, what lies ahead or what is left behind holds little to no importance. So go ahead, soak in the beauty of ‘now’, be unabashedly yourself and never stop dreaming. For one day you will realize, by trusting the flow of life, you’ve ended up in the most beautiful place.

So this is my story and I am forever — ruthlessly and relentlessly — editing it.

This is my masterpiece.

Takeaway message: When it is time to grow, God pushes you out of your comfort zone. It’s ugly and uncomfortable at first but eventually, transforms you into someone you’ve always dreamed of becoming.

If you, too, have a place, person, things or even just some moments that helped you turn into something better, fuelled your dreams and served your transition, take a moment to be grateful. Let today be the day to express your gratitude toward it. Also, I’d love to know about it so use the comment section or send me a message, I’m all ears 🙂

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