The Unfathomed

Gentle Reminders | Healing | Art and Purpose | Mindful Living | Self-Care and Growth

Tag: change (page 1 of 2)

Only follow advice and make changes that truly support your mental health

As healthy as some habits, and activities seem, and as effective and impressive as an advice or a suggestion sounds, not everything works for everybody. And that’s okay. 

It’s okay to admit that sometimes your mind doesn’t agree with the expert advice because it has his own reasons not to. It’s okay to admit that your body isn’t always ready to adapt to the big changes you’re trying to make in order to feel better. Because no matter how bright, structured and wonderful a path is, it isn’t the only path to recovery or fulfilment. 

I say this because we’re full of contradictions. 

We all are different.

Our needs are different. 

Trying to stay positive all the time doesn’t work for people who’re in pain, who are suffering; in fact, grieving, taking time to recover from the loss and practising acceptance does. 

Exercising to relieve stress doesn’t work for people who are too exhausted and mentally drained to even get out of their bed; for them, some good food, and good rest helps. 

Going out, traveling and being an extrovert to bounce back and start anew doesn’t help people who have trouble being vocal about their problems or have anxiety issues; instead, staying in and staying close to even just one person they fully trust does. 

The list goes on because as I said, we’re all different. We often forget that our minds are constantly evolving. Life is always happening and change is an integral part of it. With all life events affecting us in various forms, we go through phases; some repeated and some new. And during these phases, everyone feels and copes with changes differently. When exposed to a new situation and faced with a difficulty, we seek help. We seek answers and solutions. We reach out to people and other resources to find help. We seek relevancy. And then, when we find what we were looking for, we relate to each other’s problems. But even though we follow the good advice we receive from experts and people who’re in the same place as you, we never really get the outcome we expected and that disturbs us. It makes us question our abilities. We never really feel satisfied or see a change. Do you know why? Because we end up turning the whole process of healing or adapting into a complex thing. We set deadlines. We ignore the discomfort and chase the feeling we’re aiming to feel. We skip parts of our own story. We rush. We try too hard to fit into the glorious story of recovery and breakthrough. We push ourselves to feel the way we’re told we’d feel instead of feeling what we really feel.

We fail to remember that our journey is different. We heal at our own pace. The intensity, vastness and depth of our issues can’t be compared to someone else’s. 

None of it can be validated by someone’s advice or idea of progress. 

When we realise this, we understand that our coping mechanisms, our ways to deal with changes in our lives and challenges must also be different. They must be curated to our needs. 

There’s no harm in trying various things to see what helps you. But, forcing yourself to keep at it and ignoring your needs, your feelings, the root of the problem, and other things that are personal to you, is not okay. 

We can’t make healing complex. We can’t compare our pain to someone else’s or force ourselves to do things that fail to improve our situation or help us get better. We can’t compare and feel disheartened because some get through difficult times in one go, some go back and forth, fall and get up and take time to adapt and evolve. There’s no comparison here at all. Both are worthy of appreciation. Because irrespective of time consumed, they’re both strong signs of progress. 

I hope this helped.

Thank you for reading!

Lots of love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

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Real productivity – Seek Balance, Not Motivation. Set Realistic Standards.

We’re tuned to rely on external stimulants to do what we must do and be who we want to be.

This kind of an approach leaves us feeling agitated and stressed when we fail to feel motivated. If you are working out and sharing your fitness journey online, and you feel motivated from the large amount of likes and comments you get on your workout posts, it is a good sign and it is okay to feel good about it but it is not safe to rely on it to feel motivated. 

When an external stimulation becomes the only source of inspiration, it becomes an addiction. 

Here, I’m not talking about the extremes. I’m not talking about showbizz and its dark side that leads to disorders and drug addiction. No, what I am really trying to focus on is a common man’s everyday mindset. 

Before performing any action that brings value, our brains are wired to look for motivation. It has been like this for ages. 

Can we live with this kind of a mindset forever? Yes, it is possible. 

But is it really a good practice? Not really. 

If you ever felt like you need a way out of this concept of finding motivation to do things, this is for you.

The ‘feel motivated’ concept comes with the highs and lows. When you get used to seeking motivation in order to get some quality work done, you’re also preparing yourself to cut yourself some slack when you feel burned out. 

In most cases, the ‘motivation led to productivity’ phase is short-lived and the ‘it is time to rest’ phase lasts longer than expected. We don’t consider this as a problem because we believe that’s how things work and try to look at the brighter side. 

Although no human can be 100% productive and focused 365 days a year, we can be at least 75% productive every single day. 

Okay, so 75% seems like a big number. I understand. Let’s cut it to 50%. 

That is 8.5 hours per day (after excluding the standard 7 hours of sleep time). 

Now let’s say, you are dedicating 4 hours out of it to the tasks you perform at your job. You have 5 hours in your hand for other important things you wish to pursue. If 4 hours of productivity at work seems less, make it 5. But starting with 4 wouldn’t be that bad because we’re talking about 4 hours of solid work with no distractions here. 

Don’t you think you can really get some quality work done with less stress if 4 hours is the target?

This is a better approach than looking for ways to keep yourself motivated throughout the day to be productive for 8-9 hours at a stretch. Trust me, I’ve tried it. 

Plus, you’ll have the remaining hours for the work you wish to do in the other areas of your life. It is essential to understand that productivity doesn’t necessarily mean dedicating all your time to one major goal in one particular area of life. 

Productivity is the concept developed to fuel progress. And progress involves work in all areas of your life. Only this will lead to satisfaction considering the fact that no man has just one goal, just the way he has no one particular source of happiness in life.

We strive for betterment in various areas of our lives because there are several things that are important to us—like relationships, job, lifestyle, hobbies and our body.

Productivity also means making new connections, strengthening existing bonds, making healthy food choices, spending time pursuing your hobby, working for the side hustle, having more conversations and many other things.

If we dedicate 100% to just one part, we will miss out on other parts. 

Hence, it is okay to let the 75 or even 50 be your new 100 for a while. By setting realistic expectations for yourself, you perform better.

I know what all the CEOs and motivational speakers of the world say—

Give your 100%, go all in, be fully dedicated and work to your fullest potential. 

That’s great advice. It is possible too. But only on some days. 

Why? Because we’re beginners and we are humans. 

Some days the world gets in the way and we feel drained. 

Some days our responsibilities take over and we feel tired.  

Some days our feelings get in the way and we get lost. 

Failing to give your 100% and lacking focusing on such days shouldn’t make you feel guilty. It shouldn’t make you feel like you lack discipline. It shouldn’t make you question your way of living. This is the drawback of the ‘stay motivated all the time’ approach.

Find balance and progress will be made, all the time. 

Give yourself the required push and also give yourself the required break.

That’s the key to being truly productive.

Start small and work your way up. It is important to remember there is always room for improvement. You can always raise the bar and strive for more but none of the great things you do will matter if you do it feeling stressed. 

The journey to reaching a goal is just as important as the goal itself. 

Let it be a pleasant one. 

Thank you for reading!

— The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

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Lack of Exposure and Abundance of Leisure

Unsettling times are slowly fading away.

These days, the city is quieter than usual & that is nothing to feel sad about because these days, the city is also cleaner and brighter than usual.

The silence. It was scary at first. It is comfortable now. 

It is helping people slow down, and finally understand each other and their own self. 

There are longer conversations in balconies. 

Louder laughs shared with a hot cuppa in the evening. 

Everyone is kinder than usual, so kind that they’re feeding the voiceless, praying & grieving for the homeless because the hands are tied and that’s all one can do right now. There’s also calmness in people’s eyes. 

They’re happy about the way nature is flourishing. 

The long ignored plight has somehow become a priority. Holding on to the hope & healing, we’re finally in sync with mother nature. We’re now similar. 

There’s less agitation and more acceptance now. 

There are more people watching sunsets and no people stuck in traffic. Running the race in this rapidly evolving world, those little things we dreamed of escaping to are now a part of our reality. 

Thursday, 5:03 pm – The distant view of the race course brings back so many memories from childhood.

It is barely visible now. When I was little, I believed it was an airport because its shape looked like a plane to me. When I was little, I also believed I could fly an airplane. Today, I don’t believe I can do everything but I know with certainty that I can do a lot of difficult things.

Friday, 7:42 am – The old neem tree in the neighbourhood is greener now. Back in those days, the girl I went to school with told me it was a place where ghosts reside. I believed that too. But today, I see many birds hovering over it, settling on it’s branches. I see colorful kites stuck on it. It doesn’t look scary. It looks lively and beautiful.

Friday, 5:22 pm – My new found love, dermot kennedy, starts to sing. Whilst his voice begins to consumes my mind & drowns all my thoughts at once, the clean air fills my lungs. And in this moment, I feel alive. I feel grateful for the air I breathe. I look around and suddenly, I wish I could still see the magnificent Charminar from my terrace, like I did when I was a kid.

But that’s okay. 

I see the intricately built metro lines now. 

Saturday, 4:47 pm – I hear prayers from the mosque. The temple is still in sight too. The gods are still there, just no devotees visiting them. Gods understand, I believe. I also believe that they never ask for anything but for you to be human.

Today, 7:30 am –

Sunday, 5:50pm – Living close to the station, I grew up with the sound of trains awakening me in the middle of the night & sometimes falling asleep to it because it was familiar. I don’t hear it these days. But the station is still in sight and the flag hoisted there is still standing tall. It is breathing better too, I feel and that makes me smile.

Today, I spent an hour on my terrace watching the sky but I witnessed something much more beautiful than the crimson skies. I watched a father play with his little girl. Her laugh echoed each time he took her in his arms. It was beautiful.

Today, I saw a teenage boy training his dog on the terrace. They share a beautiful bond, I could tell. 

They were happy. Genuinely happy. 

Let me tell you something.

We’re feeling stuck. We’re feeling caged. Maybe the fear is real. For a while, maybe we really do feel anxious. But that’s not the only thing we’re feeling now, are we?

Take a moment to look around, we’re unlearning and relearning.

We’re learning to seek happiness in little things and we’re doing a great job learning to be happy and at peace. We’re sent home to enjoy the summer break. We’re sent home to rest, readjust and rejuvenate.

So take a moment to look within yourself, there’s a pool of serenity. There’s a sense of contentment swirling in it. There’s  also potential. Undiscovered potential emerging from it. 

And if you trust the timing of life, you’ll realise that there’s a voice reaching out to you. Trying to tell you this halt, this havoc, this pause, the lack of exposure and abundance of leisure, all of it is a blessing. Trust it.

Stay safe, stay sane

Love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

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Find the courage to do it selflessly first

We all are trying to find ourselves. We’ve been doing it for a long time, aren’t we? But the search never ends and after all this time, if not completely, we understand ourselves at least a little. We know what we crave, what drives us and makes us feel alive.
But sadly, after every realization and revelation, we always seem to encounter a huge wall. It divides our dream life from reality and boy it sure stands tall and strong. We all try to break it now and then but get tired and give up.
Today, let’s try to build a tunnel or maybe just a little hole to see what lies on the other side. Here’s how—
Think of that one thing that makes you feel alive, the thing you crave for and dream to do for the rest of your life. Now, before worrying about whether or not you can get something out of it, pause and feel it. Before you start to anticipate if you can make a career out of it, feel grateful for the possibility of it and delight in it.
Because to do what you love for the rest of your life, you first need to find the courage to do it selflessly—without any expectations or doubts, with no if’s and but’s, no planning, no second thoughts, no overthinking and no barriers.
You don’t see it but I do—while you are wasting days doubting your passion, ignoring you calling, stifling those urges and taking it for granted, your passion is getting tired of you. It, too, can feel weary constantly fighting to make its way out in this world through you. Understand that whatever makes you feel alive is real and when left neglected despite its several attempts to show you who you are or who you can be, it begins to fade and there’ll be no one but you to blame. It can grow tired of waiting for you to do something about it. It’ll lack the strength to carry your burden of excuses—those that take shape in the form of societal standards, insecurities, hurdles, and all that’s stopping you from reaching out to it and embracing it. And over time, the things that stir your heart and make you feel alive will leave you. As it all begins to fade, you begin to feel lifeless. You will then feel numb, alone and dead without your passion. Look around you and you will see living examples of this—tired faces with sad eyes, regrets of not taking a chance at what makes them happy buried inside their chest, minds resembling trash cans full of meaningless chaos, it has happened to many people and it’ll happen to many more but we always have the choice to take a different road, we always have the power to be an exception.
I repeat, spend years ignoring and doubting the spark in you and it’ll vanish. Spend a few pure moments every day guarding and fueling it selflessly, it’ll grow into a wildfire. On days you fail to feed it and fall victim to the coldness of the world, it’ll still burn and keep you warm.
So take it from a girl who dared to love her passion selflessly, who adored every mistake she made along the way, who did not seek validation or waited for someone else to tell her she can do it and who, like an innocent child, trusted her passion with all her heart and like a mother, protected it with all her might—IT IS WORTH EVERYTHING.
And here’s a little something for you to help you get started—
Before preparing to paint a masterpiece, paint as you did in kindergarten. Before planning to write a book, write like you are writing in your personal journal—unabashedly and messily. Before trying to compose sensational tunes, hum like you breathe music and sing in showers. Before planning to run a marathon, run like you are running along the beach on a Sunday morning.
Before you make big plans for the future, adore your passion. Feed it to your soul and you will see it seeping through your pores.
And amidst all this, don’t forget to take time to celebrate the small victories.
Before you begin to work toward the life of your dreams, feel and acknowledge the ‘now’. The present moment and small achievements are just as precious as your end goal.
This space you are in right now is just yours and this time you are spending trying to figure out the mess is your awakening. It’ll all make sense, trust it.

Love and light,

Nandini, The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

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Life isn’t hard, people in it are. So stop blaming life for the mess people create.

Life isn’t hard, people in it are. Life doesn’t hurt you, people in it do. Life isn’t unfair to you, people and situations are.

Life isn’t beating you down, it is in fact always there for you, kind enough to keep you breathing.

Life isn’t what’s around you, it is what is inside of you—your breath, your heartbeat, the blood running through your veins, the strength in your limbs and that voice in you, that’s life.

So stop blaming life for things people do. Stop giving up on ‘life’ because of the actions of others. Get rid of this misconception that people, things or situation destroyed your life.

Nobody can do that, they can only mess your present. You need to realize that time is always ticking and that present quickly becomes the past.

Too bad, you continue to treat it as present and keep their wrongdoings alive in your head.

Hell, you even feed those memories and use it as an excuse to justify your present situation.

Are you even aware of human power?

Do you know what you are capable of?

Do you have any idea what potential lies in you or how powerful your mind is?

No, you don’t. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be using its powers to run in circles, you wouldn’t be ruminating over past events and dragging it into your present or planning to push it into your future.

As powerless as past events, actions of others and situations can be, the scary thing is you are someone who is utterly capable of destroying your own life.

You will do it with pride and distribute the blame among everything that happened in that small stretch of time that broke you, you will blame one event but fail to see that you are the one who is responsible for dragging it throughout life.

Bad things that happen to you can’t end your life, but sadly, you can. You are the only one holding the deadly weapon, you have the power to end it and it’s pathetic if you are abusing it.

Stop treating your life like a joke, stop taking it for granted, stop feeling crippled because when life actually starts to get away from you, you will die even before it leaves you.

When your body starts to give up on you, when these lungs no longer want to breathe air in you, when your limbs get tired of waiting for you to do something with your life, you will know what pain really is.

You will know the difference between a lesson and real pain but it will be too late. Cling to those burdens, and life will give up on you. Remember this.

Love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved

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You are constantly in the state of becoming — remember this

“You are constantly in the state of becoming — remember this”

The next time you feel like you’re breaking, remind yourself that you are breaking through something, that you are transforming into something strong and beautiful.

Like many beautiful things, your transformation too goes unnoticed but remember that it is there — now and always. You don’t need anyone to notice your growth, appreciate your strength or applaud your bravery — No, you don’t need anyone to witness your evolution in order for you to believe in it. The one you see in the mirror every morning is witnessing it all and you can find solace in that truth. The one undergoing transformation will tell you all the stories and remind you of the strength of character you’ve developed and grace you’ve embodied all along. The body you stare at in the mirror, the one you tried too hard to change but instead learned to love and accept will tell you everything you need to know; the confidence oozing from your fiery eyes, the shine on your flushed cheeks after you killed that last set and screamed through that last rep, the sweet pain in your muscle and the calmness in your mind — all of these will tell you who you are becoming, they’ll whisper and talk and howl, you only need to listen and believe it all.

Pain doesn’t lie, growth doesn’t lie, your heart doesn’t lie and neither will your body. You can’t say the same for people around you, the voices surrounding you or the eyes staring at you but you can always rely on yourself to see and tell the truth. So next time you think you are hurting, know that you are transforming; the next time you are crumbling, know that your heart is settling and making a home in itself, the next time you find yourself doubting your capabilities, know that your will power is strengthening and getting ready for something challenging, the next time you feel you’re breaking, know that you are in fact, becoming.

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Do you remember how you learned to walk?

To reach those welcoming arms, you believed in yourself and followed those voices and claps around you, you had a huge grin on your face, eyes stuck on that person calling you even when your tiny legs shook and you stumbled. You fell to the ground but your eyes stayed stuck on that person, those arms you wanted to reach. You laughed it off and mindlessly got up with a smile. You started to walk with the same spirit. You didn’t worry about the fall. 

You simply believed in yourself and in the process because you knew no other way. You trusted the unknown and tried this new thing that is ‘walking’ without fear and believed you’ll figure it all out along the way. You were excited. You didn’t worry about what you’ll get out of it or if it’ll even be worth it

You just went for it because you wanted to. 

No second thoughts, no overthinking, no barriers, no doubts.

Do that every day and in everything because, in matters of life, you’re still a kid and will always be one. That’s the beauty of it, the universal truth. Until your last breath, you are and will always be on the path to learning new things and we all know that learning involves failing. Don’t try so hard to be an adult in such situations and don’t crave to have it all figured out in advance.

Don’t focus on the ultimate solution, the reward, the end goal. Don’t try so hard to have it all figured out. Just focus on the next step, next effort, next action and have faith.

Don’t let fear cripple you.

Choose blind faith kid, you’re doing great.

—Nandini                                                                                                    

The Unfathomed

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Come here, I’ll show you what it takes to build a castle—a safe place for not just yourself but for others too.

Don’t be so proud of the toy fort you’ve built in your bedroom, the fort you whine in when it gets dark. Stop damaging others because you fail to carry the weight of it all on your own. Come here, I’ll show you what it takes to build a castle—a safe place for not just yourself but for others too. I’ll show you what true strength looks like, what ugly scars one has to bear and what it takes to not bleed on others. 

Don’t call yourself strong unless you know what true warriors are made of and how they rise out of burdens and heaps of pain with grace, how they choose kindness and not bitterness or resentment,  I’ll show you how they transform and not change. Warriors and strong people aren’t those who are ruthless, they don’t destroy, they don’t change into someone insensitive. They are angels those who break and burn but still share innocent smiles, who struggle but never use it as an excuse for their behavior, who bleed but never taint others, who lead by example, who learn from the pain and choose to protect and help those on the same journey. Warriors are those who live for something larger than themselves. They aren’t selfish, they don’t sit in comfort of their beds being uncaring, seeing everything and everyone as a threat, protecting themselves from all possible dangers. They get out and make the world a better place, they keep things real and don’t go begging for rewards. They don’t crave validation from others. They don’t seek appreciation for getting out of the rut they so willingly got themselves in. They don’t turn a blind eye to the needs of others, they don’t put on a façade, envy, backstab or ill-advise. They never use pain as an excuse. 

Don’t call yourself a fighter if all you do is proudly wallow in self-pity and rewind misfortunes. Don’t expect care and pampering if you only know how to take and never wish to give anything back. Don’t sting others with the poison of what life had bought for you. Because if you do, you will be left with nothing but tales of your misfortune—laced with the false pride you nurtured—choking you. Wait for it to happen and you will be left with no one and nothing to help breathe air in you. 

—Nandini

The unfathomed

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Just begin — let time replace fear with faith

We are always one decision away from a completely different life but we are also several thousand thoughts and plenty of actions away from it.

Nandini

As powerful as the term ‘transformation’ sounds, it requires you to be utterly vulnerable. It requires you to take accountability for your actions. It requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. It took me a long time to realize that if I want something, the only way to get it is to work for it. I learned that life is all about pushing yourself to do things that reveal your true potential, all whilst not feeling like you’re doing too much. The most effective way to create the life you want is to just begin, I realized.

Whatever it is — great income, good physique, better mental health, secure future, adventure — just begin. You will give up, you will fail but in moments like those, learn to rest, not quit. Working hard for something you want, for the vision you have of yourself and your life, isn’t a burden but an opportunity and a blessing. Your effort toward building something great isn’t a punishment and it shouldn’t make you feel miserable. Stop telling yourself it’s all too much and you deserve an easy life. No. You can have the easy life but you don’t want it, that’s the very reason you are restless and always looking for something that’s beyond the ordinary. It’s a sign that you are made of extraordinary and this journey you are on is your way of finding yourself. Stop treating yourself like you deserve to be where you are right now because the truth is if you deserved it, you wouldn’t be aspiring to be something else, you wouldn’t be dreaming of something more — that’s the sign of bravery and it is proof that you have something most don’t. There are so many like you who feel the same, see the same and are working toward everything they believe is theirs; learn from them, help them, learn from their mistakes, get inspiration from their success, stay close to their energy.

Do whatever you can while you still have time, while you still have a voice, while you still have strength in your limbs. There is always a choice and I hope you choose wisely. The voices inside your head will try to hold you back, you will give yourself new excuses every day and that’s how it is with everyone. It’s no secret that we hold ourselves back even before anyone else does. It’s normal. It’s human nature. But there are always exceptions and this world is full of them.
Just take the first step and stay there until you overcome the fear. Stay there until the fear is replaced with faith. Once you begin, you won’t know how to move ahead, you will feel overwhelmed and uneasy, you will feel like giving up on that idea every single day but you will also learn to get past those feelings. You will find your way out and you will be proud. Your mind isn’t enemy if you try to understand it and try to teach it something new. Create new patterns, make new habits, do everything that you need to do to convince yourself that you are not meant for the mundane life. Refuse to give up and will learn something new, every single day.

Until next time!

Love & light,

Nandini

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Intention, Acceptance, and Authenticity – Escape the Whirlwind of Destruction

‘Walk away, let go, trust the process and you will watch yourself flourish.’

As cliché as it may sound, believe me when I say walking away will do your life good. Not just in the matters of hearts but everywhere; in every aspect of your life — everything that doesn’t serve you, needs to make an exit, it is that simple.

Live by this rule and you will watch yourself flourish — mentally, physically, spiritually.

All our lives, we are taught to be strong and never give up but there’ll be times when doing exactly that — letting go, breaking free — shows courage and strength of character. I don’t want you to turn into a bitter person and neither do I encourage you to become numb and emotionless. I only want you to value your emotions and stop letting them get in your way of happiness; because they hold the power to lead you to destruction — something you certainly don’t deserve.

It is a bitter pill to swallow but you have to do it for yourself. The only person you should hold responsible for the things going on in your life should be you and you alone. Blaming others for your struggles might seem tempting but what you often fail to understand is that in the blame game, you lose power. Giving someone else that kind of command over your life is worse than the struggle you go through in the process of acceptance and taking responsibility. The concept of acceptance is one of my favorites, I must say. Everybody believes that acceptance is the key to betterment, I agree.

However, in my experience, the first step to progress is the intention, not acceptance. Now, acceptance and intention might sound the same but these are two completely different emotions. When life hits you hard and you are sitting there wallowing in self-pity, complaining how unfair people are — you feel a mixture of emotions. You struggle with those set of emotions and after a lot of thinking, contemplating and spending enough time with the pain, you zero down to one emotion — whichever feels right and most logical. This is where intention comes in. What you intend to do with that feeling, that conclusion, the clarity you struggled so hard to find is what drags you out of the abyss and sets you apart. At that moment, you either feel an immense amount of pity for yourself or experience rage. Picking the right one, choosing to live your life intentionally and not letting one idea or experience destroy your perspective on life is the turning point.

Very often, I see people turn into something undesirable and call it an outcome of their harsh experiences in life. This is the negative acceptance I am most afraid of. Acceptance is liberating, I agree. However, jumping to a conclusion too quickly, accepting it to be true and spending your entire life carrying that burden is toxic. I call it a burden because it’ll probably make you live against your own truth.

For instance, if you have loved a person, a dream, a goal or anything for that matter, deeply, and things went awry, you will go through a rough patch until you find your closure and answers. You won’t always find these answers easily; they won’t be served to you on a shiny, decorated plate. No. You are thrown to the ground, forced to dig up, pushed to get your hands bloody and dirty. But, sometimes, you are left helpless and as time goes by, the answers come looking for you, all by themselves; in times like these, you are simply required to be still. Despite seeming like two different scenarios, the amount of strength one requires to endure these situations is the same. We go through a lot during these times which makes us impatient and desperate to be the best version of ourselves. We can’t wait to get our closure, clarity, answers or whatever you choose to call them, we just can’t wait for it to find us and fall in our arms, destroy us for one last time just so we can finally begin to rebuild. It is a transformational phase which is why I believe one should not let it all go to waste by making a wrong decision and end up losing your authenticity. The idea is to use it to your advantage; let it change your perspective on things in a positive way. Let it instill wisdom in you and make you a better, kinder, wiser person. After this long struggle, whatever comes out should change you for better and not make you bitter.

What you intend to do with the answers will either make you or break you. So whatever you choose to do, make sure it doesn’t mess with your core values and your identity. Harsh transformation might seem like a great choice at the moment but make sure you don’t spend the rest of your life living against your own truth. Holding onto the new idea and forcing it upon yourself in the name of ‘change’ or ‘growth’ will do you more harm than good.

“Once you are out of the dark abyss, dust the misery off.

Be a badass, but also be kind.”

Which part of this post did you like, agree with or resonate with the most? I’d love to know.

Thank you for reading,

Love and light,

Nandini

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