There’s a kind of love that destroys but you are here to love without destroying yourself.
There’s a kind of love that soothes but also destroys. The kind where you love a human without entirely knowing them. The kind where you are so ready to love that you forget everything. The kind where you are in love with the idea of a person; with the idea of who you are in the present and who you can be if they become a permanent part of your future. You are in love with all the possibilities. You see one extraordinary part of them and decide to never treat them as ordinary. You throw light on their beautiful parts and amplify even the minutest of goodness in their nature. While you continue to do this, you also come across parts of them that aren’t really beautiful. But you stay quiet. You ignore their flaws, and hide away their dark parts. There’s so much love in you that you ignore even the foulest of flaws in them. Loving them becomes a duty now. A responsibility you impose on yourself. Before you could even pause, question and understand, you start to feel like you’ve come too far. It becomes a battle now, not a love story. A battle where you fight against almost everything that forces you to see the truth. Their mistakes start to become your mistakes. You don’t question them, you question your own love for them. While you fight this war that you bought upon yourself, you try real hard and wait for the goodness in them to win. You wait for that person to emerge as a symbol of perfection and prove themselves to be the person you thought they were; you wait for them to become the love of your life. Time goes by and your hearts grow tired; of bearing the weight of the truth you refuse to see and accept. It grows tired of giving and trying with no scope of getting what it deserves or getting anything at all. And then comes the phase of destruction. It starts off with one scream, one outburst, and one good cry. When the truth is set free, the reality starts to set in. The overused and bruised parts of your heart refuse to stay quiet. The crevices of your heart that stored all love you had to offer, the love you poured into everything you did and felt for that person, will show signs of parchment. It will make space for a lot of things; including respect and justice. Your heart will finally give in and find the courage to see that person for who they really are. The hunger for love—the love it never received—becomes a driving force for everything it does and feels. And that isn’t a pretty experience.
Unmet needs and unheard plights of hearts destroy years and sometimes, a whole lifetime.
So before it is too late, let the truth in: unrequited love isn’t romantic. It isn’t a sign of strength.
Loving selflessly has its own consequences. Loving blindly is a crime where your own heart is the victim. And the truth is, there’s nothing romantic about destruction. Nothing at all. People say ‘love is blind’. No, it isn’t.
Love is all seeing and all knowing. It is respectful and caring.
Love isn’t about just giving. It isn’t about giving endlessly, depleting yourself and hoping you’ll receive atleast a portion of it in return someday. No. Losing yourself into somethings or someone you can’t fully trust or rely on isn’t romantic.
Placing your heart in unsteady hands isn’t romantic. I don’t care how wonderful and great you feel when you start to love someone without expecting anything in return, I want you to remember that it destroys you. It ruins you in ways you fail to understand.
You aren’t here to prove your greatness by loving someone madly. No. You are here to live and love in ways that doesn’t hurt. You are here to love in ways that heal and nurture. You are here to love life and live your story. You’re not here to find a soulmate, a lifetime companion or a forever in another human. No, you’re here to find yourself. You are here to love without destroying yourself.