I knew I was leaving a whole life behind
Stepping into a new world; a world of unknown.
I left Hyderabad on 7th of April 2018.
I vividly remember everything I went through that night. I remember even the minutest of details of that journey like it was just yesterday.
Completely unsure of how things are going to unfold or the idea of where life is taking me, I sat there ‘still and numb’. I was scared to death but there was no going back. At that moment, fear, confusion, disappointment, hope, expectations, strength, denial, every feeling that one can possibly feel played out through me.
As time went by, my life only seemed to go downhill and filled me with the grief of everything I left behind. I started to believe the voices in my head that screamed ‘You made a wrong decision.’
But over time, the truth overpowered those voices. The part I had mistaken for a void — that needed a lover to be filled — was in reality, just a layer of hurt. And with passing time, I was able to scrape it off and discover that what lies beneath is nothing but a treasure trove of love I had stored for myself and my loved ones.
I remember how this city presented me with an opportunity to get to know myself on a deeper level. I understood and accepted my shortcomings so that I could start working on them. It helped me fall in love with myself all over again and has given me every opportunity to discover my true potential. It has given me time and space to rest, heal, rediscover and rebuild my life with a broader perspective. This is the place where I learned some of the best and most invaluable life lessons. From learning to accept the fact that nothing is permanent to striving to make every moment count, I have come a long way. It did nothing revolutionary but subtly helped me shed parts that no longer served my purpose. Always reminded me of the reasons why I started this journey in the first place.
Here, I was introduced to the most beautiful and powerful parts of myself. I was directed towards a passionate and fulfilling life. There were moments so sublime I had to almost pinch myself to believe they were real — “I have had my heart broken before and it will most probably happen again. But, from this time forward, nobody will have any kind of power or negative impact on me and my well-being” I said to myself watching the sunrise beautifully over the lake. It was a moment worth remembering.
Today, I no longer shed tears over those who caused me pain. I wish them well, pray for their happiness and keep moving forward in life. I have learned the value of forgiveness and freedom in this city. It gave me power and I was unstoppable when it came to things I set my heart and mind on. I have conquered things that I had only dreamed of. Things that were ‘real’ only in my dreams are now a part of my reality and I can’t be thankful enough for it.
This city has offered me growth, faith, transformation, and the truth. It was never harsh on me or made me feel like an outsider. In fact, I have always felt like home here. It will always be a home for the dreamers and the hustlers, I believe. I will forever be grateful for all that I found here, for people, places and things that have fuelled my passion and gave my little heart such immense courage to keep going. Most of all, I’m thankful for the way it helped me look at my own city (Hyderabad) in a different light. It helped me fall in love with the place I grew up in, all over again.
I want to share a part of what I’ve learned here with you, so here it is — there’s nothing more important than the memories you are about to create. This moment is the only proof that you are alive. Once you learn to live in the present moment, what lies ahead or what is left behind holds little to no importance. So go ahead, soak in the beauty of ‘now’, be unabashedly yourself and never stop dreaming. For one day you will realize, by trusting the flow of life, you’ve ended up in the most beautiful place.
So this is my story and I am forever — ruthlessly and relentlessly — editing it.
This is my masterpiece.
Takeaway message: When it is time to grow, God pushes you out of your comfort zone. It’s ugly and uncomfortable at first but eventually, transforms you into someone you’ve always dreamed of becoming.
If you, too, have a place, person, things or even just some moments that helped you turn into something better, fuelled your dreams and served your transition, take a moment to be grateful. Let today be the day to express your gratitude toward it. Also, I’d love to know about it so use the comment section or send me a message, I’m all ears 🙂