The Unfathomed

Gentle Reminders | Healing | Art and Purpose | Mindful Living | Self-Care and Growth

Tag: new habits

Only follow advice and make changes that truly support your mental health

As healthy as some habits, and activities seem, and as effective and impressive as an advice or a suggestion sounds, not everything works for everybody. And that’s okay. 

It’s okay to admit that sometimes your mind doesn’t agree with the expert advice because it has his own reasons not to. It’s okay to admit that your body isn’t always ready to adapt to the big changes you’re trying to make in order to feel better. Because no matter how bright, structured and wonderful a path is, it isn’t the only path to recovery or fulfilment. 

I say this because we’re full of contradictions. 

We all are different.

Our needs are different. 

Trying to stay positive all the time doesn’t work for people who’re in pain, who are suffering; in fact, grieving, taking time to recover from the loss and practising acceptance does. 

Exercising to relieve stress doesn’t work for people who are too exhausted and mentally drained to even get out of their bed; for them, some good food, and good rest helps. 

Going out, traveling and being an extrovert to bounce back and start anew doesn’t help people who have trouble being vocal about their problems or have anxiety issues; instead, staying in and staying close to even just one person they fully trust does. 

The list goes on because as I said, we’re all different. We often forget that our minds are constantly evolving. Life is always happening and change is an integral part of it. With all life events affecting us in various forms, we go through phases; some repeated and some new. And during these phases, everyone feels and copes with changes differently. When exposed to a new situation and faced with a difficulty, we seek help. We seek answers and solutions. We reach out to people and other resources to find help. We seek relevancy. And then, when we find what we were looking for, we relate to each other’s problems. But even though we follow the good advice we receive from experts and people who’re in the same place as you, we never really get the outcome we expected and that disturbs us. It makes us question our abilities. We never really feel satisfied or see a change. Do you know why? Because we end up turning the whole process of healing or adapting into a complex thing. We set deadlines. We ignore the discomfort and chase the feeling we’re aiming to feel. We skip parts of our own story. We rush. We try too hard to fit into the glorious story of recovery and breakthrough. We push ourselves to feel the way we’re told we’d feel instead of feeling what we really feel.

We fail to remember that our journey is different. We heal at our own pace. The intensity, vastness and depth of our issues can’t be compared to someone else’s. 

None of it can be validated by someone’s advice or idea of progress. 

When we realise this, we understand that our coping mechanisms, our ways to deal with changes in our lives and challenges must also be different. They must be curated to our needs. 

There’s no harm in trying various things to see what helps you. But, forcing yourself to keep at it and ignoring your needs, your feelings, the root of the problem, and other things that are personal to you, is not okay. 

We can’t make healing complex. We can’t compare our pain to someone else’s or force ourselves to do things that fail to improve our situation or help us get better. We can’t compare and feel disheartened because some get through difficult times in one go, some go back and forth, fall and get up and take time to adapt and evolve. There’s no comparison here at all. Both are worthy of appreciation. Because irrespective of time consumed, they’re both strong signs of progress. 

I hope this helped.

Thank you for reading!

Lots of love,

The Unfathomed

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Just begin — let time replace fear with faith

We are always one decision away from a completely different life but we are also several thousand thoughts and plenty of actions away from it.

Nandini

As powerful as the term ‘transformation’ sounds, it requires you to be utterly vulnerable. It requires you to take accountability for your actions. It requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. It took me a long time to realize that if I want something, the only way to get it is to work for it. I learned that life is all about pushing yourself to do things that reveal your true potential, all whilst not feeling like you’re doing too much. The most effective way to create the life you want is to just begin, I realized.

Whatever it is — great income, good physique, better mental health, secure future, adventure — just begin. You will give up, you will fail but in moments like those, learn to rest, not quit. Working hard for something you want, for the vision you have of yourself and your life, isn’t a burden but an opportunity and a blessing. Your effort toward building something great isn’t a punishment and it shouldn’t make you feel miserable. Stop telling yourself it’s all too much and you deserve an easy life. No. You can have the easy life but you don’t want it, that’s the very reason you are restless and always looking for something that’s beyond the ordinary. It’s a sign that you are made of extraordinary and this journey you are on is your way of finding yourself. Stop treating yourself like you deserve to be where you are right now because the truth is if you deserved it, you wouldn’t be aspiring to be something else, you wouldn’t be dreaming of something more — that’s the sign of bravery and it is proof that you have something most don’t. There are so many like you who feel the same, see the same and are working toward everything they believe is theirs; learn from them, help them, learn from their mistakes, get inspiration from their success, stay close to their energy.

Do whatever you can while you still have time, while you still have a voice, while you still have strength in your limbs. There is always a choice and I hope you choose wisely. The voices inside your head will try to hold you back, you will give yourself new excuses every day and that’s how it is with everyone. It’s no secret that we hold ourselves back even before anyone else does. It’s normal. It’s human nature. But there are always exceptions and this world is full of them.
Just take the first step and stay there until you overcome the fear. Stay there until the fear is replaced with faith. Once you begin, you won’t know how to move ahead, you will feel overwhelmed and uneasy, you will feel like giving up on that idea every single day but you will also learn to get past those feelings. You will find your way out and you will be proud. Your mind isn’t enemy if you try to understand it and try to teach it something new. Create new patterns, make new habits, do everything that you need to do to convince yourself that you are not meant for the mundane life. Refuse to give up and will learn something new, every single day.

Until next time!

Love & light,

Nandini

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