The Unfathomed

Gentle Reminders | Healing | Art and Purpose | Mindful Living | Self-Care and Growth

Tag: reminder

Take Responsibility for Your Life | The Unfathomed

We don’t get our life together in one-go. We wake up every morning and try until the sun sets and the moon rises.

We cry and howl but more than that, we smile and hope.

Here’s my story—

Many people say I am too serious for my age. I say, I am mature and mindful; because my life demands that from me. I can never lead an average life with only little understanding of things that truly matter to me. So I dig deep into everything that sparks joy in me and offers me peace. 

The life I am living today, I did not have it the easy way.

Anyone who knows me knows that I had to earn it. I had to build it. 

I wasn’t served opportunities on a silver platter. No. I went hunting for them. 

I had to build things from the scratch.

I got to where I am today because I took responsibility for all of my decisions and actions. 

Even when I was broken to a point I couldn’t breathe, I did not blame someone else for pushing me into darkness, neither did I blame myself for the situation I was in. 

I took responsibility.

I did not believe in any of the negative self talk. I pretended to be deaf when those thoughts grew louder and louder. I let every painful feeling consume me until there was nothing left to hurt. Until there was nothing left to break. 

And all along, I knew it in my heart that I was going to rise. I had to. 

I stopped trying to control my thoughts and feelings. 

I stopped wishing to change everything that happened, I just began acting stubborn about building a better future. Although I couldn’t control any of my emotions and it was painful, I was quietly rooting for myself; whispering words of assurance. 

That’s real self-love, I realised. 

I learned that real self-love is taking responsibility for yourself when things don’t go your way, when people around you betray you, and break you down. 

Taking responsibility for my life was undoubtedly the best decision I ever made. It saved me from emotions that could otherwise lead to jealousy, insecurities, lack of self-worth, overthinking and anxiety, if left unaddressed. 

That one decision led me to a path of transformation and re-discovery. It saved me from the regular self-destructive path a lot of people take during depressing times.

From there, I made decisions that would get me through those moments and help me find the light. 

Instead of blaming, harming anyone or waiting for someone to see me, I took responsibility and transformed.

I helped myself.

I helped myself every single day and without realising, I became capable of helping others. 

I helped myself heal in every possible way because that’s the least I could do for my hurting heart and broken spirit. 

I began to be mindful of my thoughts and my situation. 

With that, I learned the most important thing. I learned not to exaggerate my pain. I did not try to romanticise what’s gone. For a while I did, but once I was aware of the thoughts it led me to, I paused. 

Nostalgia is a liar, we need to remember this. And some lies are beautiful, hauntingly beautiful. They are hard to resist. You can rejoice in them for a while but you must never wait for them to become a reality. You cannot give away these precious years of your life for something like that. That’s a losing battle many of us are fighting. 

Forgetting someone who meant the world to you isn’t easy. Defeating your demons isn’t easy. Making peace with your insecurities isn’t easy. But living a life where you just wait for someone to return, something to happen, someone to save you or fix you, isn’t easy either. A life like that isn’t worth living, please understand. With passing years you’ll realise this and begin to regret the time you spent in wait. I’m trying to save you from that. So please understand. 

Please, listen.

We all get hurt in the early years of our life. We start to believe that our story is the most painful story on earth. Maybe it is, but the story hasn’t ended yet. You are looking at a chapter of your life, not the entire book. One chapter of your life should not decide who you become. We can’t call our story a sad one and close the book. We can’t leave the rest of the pages empty because we are afraid. We can’t cling to those years. We can’t ruin the coming years of our life waiting to get answers from people who did us wrong. When things end, we never really get closure. We must learn to accept that. 

We cannot expect words of comfort from people who hurt us. If you consciously make an effort to get your life back on track or atleast try to live gently, you win.

You owe that to yourself. So listen to me. 

Take responsibility for your life and try. Please, try.

Love, 

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed All Rights Reserved

Find more of the unfathomed at:

Purpose of Journaling

“I wanna try journaling 📓How and why do you do it?” a friend asked

So I replied—

I’ll tell you my usual way of journaling.

I journal when I have a lot going on in my head 💭

Journaling is my way of pausing repetitive thoughts (why? because repetitive thoughts tire me out) 🙇🏻‍♀️

Journaling is my way of trying to understand why I’ve been having those thoughts and what they really mean.

For instance, this past week, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about my blog. I’m constantly thinking about how I‘m failing to make enough time for my blog every day, how I haven’t been focusing on creating more content regularly, how I haven’t fixed those technical issues on site and more.

It’s difficult to keep up. I’ve been working from home; creating a lot of content for work, managing a team and multitasking all day. But my conscience doesn’t take all of that into consideration. And I know that. I’m in the middle of a task and these thoughts emerge. I don’t know how to react to them + I’m too busy with work, meetings and deadlines. So, instead of paying attention to them or even making an effort to work on my site, I simply ignore them.

This repeats.

Since I realise that it has been happening a lot lately, instead of ignoring those thoughts, I pause and promise myself that I’ll dedicate some time to acknowledge them once I’m done with my work related tasks.

That one simple gesture relieves me.

After winding up work on a Friday evening, I quickly make a mental note to journal about those thoughts the next morning.

So here’s how the Saturday morning goes —

I sit down and make a note of every recurring thought and try to make a plan. This is my attempt at understanding my priorities outside work and to actually make them a part of my routine (why? because they matter so much to me).

Since I’ve been doing this for a long time (almost 2 years), understanding my thoughts and prioritising things has become quick and easy. I journal for 20-30 mins in such situations.

Besides that, I’ll write down some ideas that I want to implement, some habits I want to work on, some skills I would like to acquire and set small goals that I’d have fun accomplishing throughout the week.

Journaling allows me to dream new dreams.

Slowly and steadily, it allows me to make them a reality.

By doing this, I set my mind free.

And on weekdays, I can now quickly go through those little notes I made and try to spend some time working on them after I get off work.

Because honestly, making time for what matters is a stress buster for me.

I’m restless when I don’t make time for what matters to me—my blog, the unfathomed ❤️

Journaling is basically trying to make sense of the mess inside your head.

If it is your first time, you can randomly write everything, all your thoughts, in your journal. Then take a fresh page and try to put them in order. That’ll help.

This was my journaling approach for being productive and avoiding stress during work time because that’s the phase I’m in right now.

You can journal for various reasons; to make sense of your emotions, to evaluate your work life, to understand yourself or a loved one, to unwind or even to just vent out and feel better.

The purpose of journaling could be anything.

Journaling is making time for yourself.

Journaling is having a conversation with yourself.

I hope this helped.

Do you journal? 💛

Do you wanna get started?

If yes, here are some journaling prompts for you —

1. What is going well in my life right now?

2. What area of my life needs a little more care and attention from me?

3. What fears do I have? What is holding me back? What feelings am I ignoring?

4. What are the things I need to forgive myself for?

5. What is it that I am scared to admit out loud?

6. Where does my dream life look like?

Happy journaling!

If you need more prompts, I’m here 💜

Love,

The Unfathomed

Copyright © 2020 by The Unfathomed – All Rights Reserved.

Find more of the unfathomed at:

A reminder that struggling is just as common and normal as breathing


I know you often wonder why it had happened and why you have to live with the weight of certain things. I know you wish to make a change and try your best to live a good life. I know you tell yourself it’s going to be alright but have difficulty believing your own words. I didn’t say a name yet these lines resonated with almost all of you. Almost each one of you found yourself in it and felt as though I’m talking about you; to you.

Doesn’t this say something? It sure does. This means you are not alone.

What a beautiful thing it is that we’re all in this together. It might seem like you are alone but if only you could hear the thoughts of others the way you hear their voices, you’d know that wondering, failing, struggling, falling, getting back up, doubting, and doing it all over again is just as common as breathing. We’re all doing it and dealing with this thing called life in our own weird ways. Too bad the struggle is internal and our eyes fail to recognize it. We have convinced ourselves to mask it all and have made sadness seem like a crime; you can’t be sad in public, you can’t let anyone see your struggle, and you can’t talk about it out loud.

“Shhh! Suffer alone and be sad in private, that’s brave” you’ve been taught.

That’s brave, that courageous and shows maturity, isn’t it? NO.

Being sad is as normal as being happy. Doubting yourself is as normal as appreciating your victories. And breaking down is as normal as laughing your heart out. So stop torturing yourself for having flaws and stop poking at your dark parts or even worse trying to live as though they don’t exist. C’mon! You are a human — a wild living thing, not some delusional unicorn dripping with perfection.

And if you feel like you are failing and aren’t truly living or making the most of your life, know that there’s no perfect road map to living life. The mere fact that there are a million thoughts originating from you and running through your mind, a thousand words falling out of your mouth, hundreds of voices you are connected to, is enough proof that you are full of life and truly alive. You are living life just the way it’s meant to be lived.

Who made you believe that life was supposed to be a perfect fairytale and minds were supposed to be empty and hearts intact? Who said you are supposed to spend all your years tuning out imperfections and aiming to build a perfect little bubble to live in? Who plotted you against this beautiful thing called ‘life’ that you blame it for all the real things it offers? Think about it and you might realize that you aren’t supposed to be fighting so hard. While you are out there thinking you suck at living this life, you are actually living it just the right way — you are living your story. When you realize that your life isn’t something that needs to be filled with achievements and you only need to accept whatever comes your way, learn, grow and breathe, you will quit trying to MAKE a perfect life and understand you already HAVE a beautiful life. It can’t be tuned to perfection because the world’s idea of a perfect life is quite unrealistic and it brings nothing but toxicity to your mind and body. I know I’m trying too hard to defy the odds and change your perspective but I hope you got what I’m trying to say (at least a little).

Now, wouldn’t you believe me if I said that you aren’t alone and you aren’t abnormal or weak for feeling clueless about your life?

You should.

Because the truth is this is how it’s meant to be but sadly, we’ve been conditioned to believe otherwise.

You are supposed to be clueless so life can surprise you. You can’t choose what life throws at you; you can only rejoice in its goodness, wallow a little in the dark parts, learn from it and grow.

Find more of the unfathomed at:

© 2020 The Unfathomed

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑

error

Hello, beautiful human. Thank you for being here! If you enjoy reading my work, share it with a loved one :)