“Do you want to keep it burning or kill it? You need to pick one. The uncertainty is keeping you stuck. It is holding you back” she wrote, with hands quivering and eyes blurry.
Her mind and heart were at war, once again. She was trying to make sense of the recurring emotions and decided to write it all down. Torn between the strength of her mind and the sensitivity of her heart, she knew she can no longer carry the weight of both; she didn’t need to.
The hope for revival of a beautiful past doesn’t sit well with the desire of a marvellous future. So the time was near and she could no longer live for both. As difficult as it seemed, she also knew it was necessary. As sensitive as the heart was, it was also brave.
“We’ve been through worse, we’ll get through this as well. Let’s get done with this, once and for all. Please give up,” She whispered to herself.
Even the thought of it stung and filled her heart with the familiar ache. Like a little girl clutching onto her favorite doll, refusing to throw it away although it was heavy and dirty and bruised and broken, her heart ached at the thought of letting it go.
It felt like a defeat; giving up felt like a defeat. The thought of freedom and the idea of a new life felt like a crime. She sat there in silence; her heart weeping and getting ready for what’s coming.
She mourned the loss—with her heart, but also feared the power of her mind. She had faith in both. So strong was her will, once set something aflame, she knew there was no going back. She made a choice. She chose herself; her well-being and threw everything that caused her pain in the burning fire.
Drawing a deep breath and wiping those tear-stained cheeks, she lit the darkroom alight.
“Some sins taste so sweet but it is now time to burn and begin,” she smiled and set the pages on fire 🔥
From the series people, poetry & purpose
Love & light,