We all are trying to find ourselves. We’ve been doing it for a long time, aren’t we? But the search never ends and after all this time, if not completely, we understand ourselves at least a little. We know what we crave, what drives us and makes us feel alive.
But sadly, after every realization and revelation, we always seem to encounter a huge wall. It divides our dream life from reality and boy it sure stands tall and strong. We all try to break it now and then but get tired and give up.
Today, let’s try to build a tunnel or maybe just a little hole to see what lies on the other side. Here’s how—
Think of that one thing that makes you feel alive, the thing you crave for and dream to do for the rest of your life. Now, before worrying about whether or not you can get something out of it, pause and feel it. Before you start to anticipate if you can make a career out of it, feel grateful for the possibility of it and delight in it.
Because to do what you love for the rest of your life, you first need to find the courage to do it selflessly—without any expectations or doubts, with no if’s and but’s, no planning, no second thoughts, no overthinking and no barriers.
You don’t see it but I do—while you are wasting days doubting your passion, ignoring you calling, stifling those urges and taking it for granted, your passion is getting tired of you. It, too, can feel weary constantly fighting to make its way out in this world through you. Understand that whatever makes you feel alive is real and when left neglected despite its several attempts to show you who you are or who you can be, it begins to fade and there’ll be no one but you to blame. It can grow tired of waiting for you to do something about it. It’ll lack the strength to carry your burden of excuses—those that take shape in the form of societal standards, insecurities, hurdles, and all that’s stopping you from reaching out to it and embracing it. And over time, the things that stir your heart and make you feel alive will leave you. As it all begins to fade, you begin to feel lifeless. You will then feel numb, alone and dead without your passion. Look around you and you will see living examples of this—tired faces with sad eyes, regrets of not taking a chance at what makes them happy buried inside their chest, minds resembling trash cans full of meaningless chaos, it has happened to many people and it’ll happen to many more but we always have the choice to take a different road, we always have the power to be an exception.
I repeat, spend years ignoring and doubting the spark in you and it’ll vanish. Spend a few pure moments every day guarding and fueling it selflessly, it’ll grow into a wildfire. On days you fail to feed it and fall victim to the coldness of the world, it’ll still burn and keep you warm.
So take it from a girl who dared to love her passion selflessly, who adored every mistake she made along the way, who did not seek validation or waited for someone else to tell her she can do it and who, like an innocent child, trusted her passion with all her heart and like a mother, protected it with all her might—IT IS WORTH EVERYTHING.
And here’s a little something for you to help you get started—
Before preparing to paint a masterpiece, paint as you did in kindergarten. Before planning to write a book, write like you are writing in your personal journal—unabashedly and messily. Before trying to compose sensational tunes, hum like you breathe music and sing in showers. Before planning to run a marathon, run like you are running along the beach on a Sunday morning.
Before you make big plans for the future, adore your passion. Feed it to your soul and you will see it seeping through your pores.
And amidst all this, don’t forget to take time to celebrate the small victories.
Before you begin to work toward the life of your dreams, feel and acknowledge the ‘now’. The present moment and small achievements are just as precious as your end goal.
This space you are in right now is just yours and this time you are spending trying to figure out the mess is your awakening. It’ll all make sense, trust it.
Love and light,
Nandini, The Unfathomed
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